Change any bad habit to a good one in just 66 days! Or, you know, just knock it the fuck off right now. http://t.co/f0yX3a3NA4
Parents! Alarmism! Teens! Texting! Acronyms! Sex! Drugs! Panic! OMG! GYPO! NIFOC! http://t.co/5uOwXzt7Hg
“I stayed up one night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” http://t.co/AWX1I12JiF
Is that a grenade in your fireplace log, or are you just happy to see me? http://t.co/ZdZgyi8SRV
New Ayn Rand novel! John Galt says fuck it, drops LSD, visits multidimensions, chats up Buddha, opens hemp farm http://t.co/IdcLOdoo2U
California’s drought worst since Charlemagne was emperor of Rome. http://t.co/BRiZEQDibC
Economy fully recovered, wages up, unemployment down, gas prices record low. Damn you, Obama! http://t.co/UFUEpP6nrY
